Clueless

It breaks my heart a little more each time I think about how clueless I was. You were… and are, in so much pain, and I never really noticed. Hell, I never even stopped to contemplate the possibility that your unexplained actions (or occasionally the lack thereof) had absolutely nothing to do with me after all. I feel so ashamed and selfish. I should have known better.

The worst part is that the signs were there… subtle, but undeniably there, in retrospect. And sometimes I hate myself for not realizing it entirely on my own. A small part of me wishes you had trusted me enough to let me in sooner, to unload a little and ease the burden of holding it all in… But I think I have a better understand now as to why you couldn’t.

I hope someday you’ll forgive me.